That’s today. Even my teeth hurt. Been googling “delayed grief” all night and in the definitions you could put a picture of me. Cannot speak of the deceased without experiencing intense and fresh grief. Relatively minor events trigger intense grief reactions. Themes of loss. Lack of “secure base” or caregiver to whom a child turns when distressed. Often leads to personality traits such as excessive self-reliance or compulsive caregiving. Such people find it hard to express any strong feeling, let alone one as intensely painful as grief.
I feel guilty and selfish that I’ve turned this day into something about myself, instead of being about my dad.