This Must Be How Junkies Feel

I think I had my first awesome meditation experience today. I don’t know if this is how it’s supposed to go, but it was almost like dreaming. I totally let go and all kinds of nutty things came up, very dreamlike. It was only a ten-minute meditation but I felt completely cleared out and refreshed after.

So for the meditation experts, is that how it’s supposed to go? I hesitate to ask if I’m doing it “right” because I know that’s not really the point. I’m super happy with it and even I was just lucid dreaming, I’m psyched that it just completely shook the physical and emotional crud that’s been building up.

But, is this normal, that it felt like dreaming? At the Buddhist meeting last night, the sensei was talking about the five blocks commonly encountered in meditation practice. I totally forget the names, but one was a sort of fuzzy brain, like not being able to see anything clearly. That’s sort of what this felt like today but it also didn’t feel like a block to anything, especially because I felt so awesome after.

I also want to meditate again NOW! I’m a little afraid of losing this calmness and clarity. Which is completely ironic, I know. The crud is kind of slowly seeping back and the awesome fresh vibrant feeling is a little duller. I’m hoping that as I gain mastery in meditation I’ll be able to call up the awesomeness more often in meditation and it will last longer between meditations.

Anyone else have this experience?

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This Shit DOES Work!

Last night I did the gratitude thing again, writing the three things I was thankful for that day. I also did a guided meditation in bed right before going to sleep. Okay, since I don’t remember the end of the meditation, I more accurately went to sleep with a guided meditation track playing. And goddamital if I didn’t wake up this morning with a smile on my face and a song in my heart.