Today was a total shit day. Not for any good reason, I just felt like a growling angry werewolf. So I broke my very long streak of zero physical activity and hit the treadmill early so I could make it to the local Buddhist meeting to meditate. The run was great – I am feeling the twinges of wanting to get back into regular running and 1/2 marathons yay! – but I still felt like a powder keg.
In the shower I just broke down. Here’s the conversation I had in my head:
Me: Go to the meeting, it will do you good.
Me: But I am crying, I don’t want to be around people. I can meditate here, it will be just as good.
Me: Hey bitch, how do you know what’s best for her?
Me: Why does this have to be so hard?
Me: Other people don’t have to struggle so much you know, why do I?
Me: Hey now, chin up there, little buddy! You’re okay. Go, don’t go, either one will be okay. Ease up, you’re doing great. Cry it out and get showered. When it comes time to leave and you still want to go, go and have a great time. If you don’t, stay home. It’s okay!
Me: You’re not going to yell at me and tell me I’m doing it wrong?
Me: No man, you’re doing it fine!
Me: Wow, thanks. You’re actually a good friend. Way better than those years of you being such a dick to me.
Me: Yeah, that chick was a fucking bitch, huh?
Yeah she was.